I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
