Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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