Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
