I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize