brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
