Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
