Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
