Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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