i jhust puked up my retainher.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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