I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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