so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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