you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
