If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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