THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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