I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
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