I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
