I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
