he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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