If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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