Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
