it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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