i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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