its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
