I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
