Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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