Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
