you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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