why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
