Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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