Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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