We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
