How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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