Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
