You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
