Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
