READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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