The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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