She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
