Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
