it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it because I queefed?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm really busy with my period
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