I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize