i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was CRYING into my vagina
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
