It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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