We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
