i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You need a sexual gate keeper
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
