that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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