She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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