she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
