An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
