whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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