Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
