Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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