Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He shit in the fireplace
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