marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
