Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
