i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
