no, he came in my armpit
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she told me i tasted like america
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
