allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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