So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
