you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
