i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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